Welcome to Siberia...

siberia

So ..you finally ended up here now ...and you were curious enough to have followed the link given when you were banned for SEO spamming .

Just enjoy our beautiful permanent all arranged holiday facilities uphere in the high north "Im arsch der welt" ..
(where the weather is always nice and there's plenty of new hot social opportunities )..
Youre in the company of many likeminded earlier failed salesentrepeneurs stuck on a permanent holiday too in SEO amateurs paradise ...
Excellent accomodations are here to comfort you ,we warmly recommend our 4 star outdoor SEO activities center 'Camp Joseph'.


camp_joseph


Luxurious shared 1 room accomodations with natural airconditioning and strawbeds await you where the lights go off at 20:00 daily ..and no internet!
There's allsorts of daily groupsports to collectively join in with to train off the excessive pounds ..
such as there are: artistic woodchopping class , the roadconstruction game and offcourse the mandatory chaingang jogging.
A happy atmosphere great to enjoy with friends who might even like your fake Prada or Louis Vuitton bags ..or the Viagra you were offerering to us unasked ! .

friends sports more sports


Being outdoors ofcourse makes one hungry . We understand that very well and provide well balanced one course vegetarian nutrition.
Healthy meals with fine laxative ingredients from our own garden are prepared by 3star cooks and are served at 19:00 daily .
A very popular local dish being the "Reindeer moss stew" flavoured with the chefs personally collected afternoon urine and rocksalts.
Served with a complimentary tablecharaffe of crystalclear 'Chernobylbrand' springwater absolute free of minerals and calcium. Bon appetit.

food ivan


After dinner theres allsorts of qualitytime programs fit for kings ! Collective cosplay ,bondage and furry games are a tradional folklore ..
The Siberian nightlife is spectacular and wild , you will love our dancing horses !
You could be the male ..or play the female , it's all depending on the horse .
And offcourse you can also join in the afterdinner mudbath tub activities ..
There will always be a hairy friend willing to scrub your back ,just ask the staff for "Towaritsj Ivan" who's heavy ending massages are legendary !
Don't drop the soap..hit the mistletoe and lets party !

nightlife tubboys


Yep..We wish you a very pleasant stay at 'Joseph's outdoor accomodations' and hope you will shurely sent us a thankful postcard .
Enjoy the stunning scenery,fine company and the first class hospitality of the excellent local management.

We promise to do the following:

  • Make very shure you are on your way!

  • Lock the door and let our Rottweiler out to prevent you from coming back!

  • Provide a new environment where you can have all the commercial fun you have asked for!

Gulag-Stalin argh


Kindest regards from your famed Histomil SEO traveltours team .


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